Up and Down

Has this ever happened to you? One minute you are totally trusting God to work out the details of something, and the next moment your emotions (and sometimes your "common sense") is telling you it can't be done.

Lately my emotions and my faith have been playing a little game of seesaw within me.  Bruce and I are still very sure God has called us to continue on our adoption journey. There have been no signs of God changing our path. But now . . . when we are looking at the large amount of money that is still to be paid, my emotions and common sense are telling me that this is a mountain that's just too big to climb over. 

And it's not only the money issue. Bruce and I have been attending a Sunday School class on parenting. It's been a great class . . . dealing with things like disciplining your child, helping them understand how to respect their elders, etc. But nearly every week I come out of the class thinking "There's no way I can do this! I don't know how to be a good mother. What was I thinking? How did I ever think I could do this?"

Thankfully the Holy Spirit has been listening to my thoughts right along with me, because He continues to flood my mind with scripture... "Apart from me you can do nothing." (John 15: 5c)   "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." (Phil. 4:13) He has been reminding me that no one can be a good parent on their own. All of us need God's strength and wisdom (whether we're parents or not!). None of us can walk in our own wisdom or strength and expect for it to accomplish anything. BUT. . . we can do anything God calls us to do through the strength of Christ Jesus! What a blessed promise! 


And as far as the money goes . . .the verse that continually comes back to me is Phil. 4:19. I like the way the Amplified Bible states this: "And my God will liberally supply (fill to the full) your every need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus."   So, if I really believe what it says in this verse, then why am I allowing my emotions and my faith to play this game of seesaw?

Okay then . . . although we still do not know where all the money will come from, and I still do not "feel" as if I know how to be a good mother . . . I am choosing to trust God's promises, and continue to follow His leading for us. He has never failed us yet. He has ALWAYS provided for every need we've had, and He has given wisdom and grace in the moments we've needed them. Why should I think He would do any less for us now? 

Feel free to hold me accountable on this. For those of you who know me well, ask me how my emotions and my faith are doing at any given time. And please continue to pray for us as we wait on the Lord to provide funds, and as we wait on the U.S. and Hungarian governments to get everything completed for us to go to Hungary to meet our new son.  

Thanks for continuing to come along side us on this journey!