Mother’s Day Sorrow and Today’s Glimmer of Hope….

So as some of you already know, my first Mother’s Day with a child in the house did not go quite as beautifully as everyone would have hoped. Our son was not happy with me when I told him we were definitely going to church and that he was coming with us (no matter how many times he told us “no”). He chose Mother’s Day to announce that when he sees his foster parents again (on Monday, May 21^st) he is going to just stay with them and not come back with us to the U.S. I, of course, tried to explain to him that he was not going to be allowed to do that, but he continued to nod his head, with a little smirk on his face (like he knew something I didn’t), and went right on mocking me.

I can tell you that, at that particular moment, I was NOT “feeling the love” either from our little boy or for him. I was feeling sorry for myself and thinking that this just wasn’t fair! My first Mother’s Day was supposed to be something lovely…..picturesque even. (Okay, okay, I know I’ve read too many novels, or seen too many movies that seem to have these great scenes in them!) But I had just hoped that there would be a little something special for me this Mother’s Day.

Here’s the thing…there was something special there for me this Mother’s Day. I almost missed it. When we got to church that day I heard music that touched my heart in a deep and healing way. And the Word of God was preached in a way that reminded me of my own relationship with my Heavenly Father, and the many things I’ve said and done that have caused HIM pain because I have been thoughtless or uncaring…or sometimes just didn’t know any better. And when we had communion that day, my heart was broken and ready to receive the special gift that God wanted me to receive…His love, His encouragement, and His reminder that He is ALWAYS faithful to complete what He starts. Oh how my heart needed that!

And today…two days later, our little apartment here in Budapest was filled with giggles and laughter as our son played with both of us at various times during the day. He wasn’t a perfect angel (there were several times where discipline had to be administered), but when he came up and hugged me (willingly…with no prompting from his father), and then gave me a kiss on the cheek tonight as he went to bed, I felt like…oh my goodness…could there be anything better?

I wonder if maybe God feels the same way sometimes when we willingly come to Him and spend time with Him (not out of guilt or a feeling of responsibility), praising Him and loving Him (essentially kissing Him on the cheek). I don’t think I would have ever given it much thought until I became a mom. I’m looking at things in a whole different way these days, and I’m grateful for this opportunity!